Festive fun as Super Salary walks away . . . hoe hoe hoe!



Super Salary was quite sure he had The The Rangers board where he wanted them . . .



For he was a man of dignity.  A man not for turning.  As far as the Gullible Loyal were concerned, some things mattered more to Salary than mere money  . . .

Not the money


There was no way he could be tempted away from his beloved Ibrokes by such a trifling offer as garden leave on full pay . . .

£ardening leave


But the more Salary though about it, the more he realised it could mean a return to his glittering broadcasting career as North Britain’s favourite Cheeky Chappy:

Bitter oranges


Of course there were some lawns he’d just love to mow again . . .



For Salary was always philsophical where his football career was concerned.  After all, shed happens:



It’s not as if he would be walking away empty-handed after all:

Keep my celery



Super Celery’s career as a children’s entertainer hadn’t fulfilled him:

Career clown


The ultimate clownshow was now on the look-out for some new footwear:

Gardening brogues


The grass is always greener after all:

Lawnmower Ally



And it would be a chance to renew some old acquaintances, even if it meant being Green-fingered all over again  . . .

Charlie Green KEEPER



And who better than Super Salary to bring a touch of dignity to this new profession?

Dignified Gardener


It being a physical job would help provide him with a chance to get back into shape:

Rangers Legends v Man Utd Legends 6th May 2013


By his own admission, during his time as The The Rangers manager he’d developed an unusual devotion:

Sacred Pie


His life-story wasn’t turning out he’d planned either . . .

Life of Pie



Salary was convinced he was the man to do the jobbie for Dobbies:

The Garden Whisperer


After all, he’d cultivated things in the past quite successfully . . .



And he knew his way around some of the country’s most famous hedges and shrubberies:



He’d never hidden his passion for floral displays . . .

McCoist flowery cap

. . . some of which had been quite stunning




And surely it would put an end to some  of those bitter voices in his head he just couldn’t seem to shake . . . then again, maybe not

The Weeds


Sure he knew his decision to do walking away might not attract universal support from the Union of Fannies in The The Rangers support:

We Don't Do Walking Away


But at least leaving his able deputy Kenny McDowall – everyone’s favour Uncle Fester lookalike – in charge would have the opposition quaking in their boots:

They hired Kenny


This would be no time for tears.  Unless of course it’s more tears of laughter for the Tims!

Don't Cry


And there was no way he could be as shit at the gardening as he was at the managing.


Was there?

World's worst gardener


A fond farewell then to Scottish football’s leading young up-and-coming manager.  Cut down in his prime.  As he knows only too well, gardeners spend just as much time in the bedroom as they do in the back lawn – at least that will be some consolation as news of his departure from the game starts to spread.


– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

On Sale now:  lssue 2 of The Shamrock – Celtic Retro fanzine.

With articles on  the legendary Alec McNair (known througout his two decades in the first team as ‘The Icicle’),  The Madness of Sir Bob Kelly,  Ajax ’82 and the magic of Champagne Charlie, the Celtic Chronicles, the Rise and Fall of the Brake Clubs and The Berserking – a musical masterpiece born from the ashes of Celtic’s most despairing European performance.  And those are just for starters . . .

Buy online here:  https://theshamrockglasgow.wordpress.com/subscriptions/

Sham 2 cover



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